Today marks two months since my daughter’s friend died. The date may go unnoticed by many, but not my daughter. I sent a quick note to see how she was doing on this day. The response was, “not good but oh well.” I couldn’t think of what to say so I simply replied, “I love you.” Hopefully those words helped in some way.
Someone walked into our home this weekend who I hadn’t seen in a long time – and it was comforting on some level. I finally got to give him a hug that was two months overdue. One of Cody’s best friends happens to be a good friend of my daughter. There appeared to be some disconnection between Annie and this friend over the last couple months. At one point I was worried the friendship wouldn’t survive the loss of Cody – and the emotions that followed. It did though and seems stronger now.
Secretly this was something I was hoping for – this friend is a great person. I am not naive and know a girl can’t tell her mom everything she can tell her friends. Many of my daughter’s friends did not share the same connection to Cody. I think some of them just hope Annie magically gets over it. Having someone to share and confide in who is also experiencing the loss is invaluable for her. I look at it as “friend therapy.” Some help that myself or a grief counselor cannot provide – and I appreciate the help.
The past two months have been a journey – a journey that still continues. It’s been filled with ups and downs, good times, bad times, set backs, crazy emotions and A LOT of make up school work. Annie and I are both learning as we go. My daughter is still hurting, but smiling. She is still sad, but sharing – even though not all of it with me. She is moving forward even though I think part of her wants to go back in time. Most importantly, she is healing and taking steps back. And she has a great friend who understands to walk the road back with her.
To Annie, Jordy, Anthony, G-Ma Joan – or anyone marking this date – you are in my thoughts.