The Road Back – The Two Month Marker and Re-Connection of an Important Friend

Today marks two months since my daughter’s friend died.  The date may go unnoticed by many, but not my daughter.  I sent a quick note to see how she was doing on this day.  The response was, “not good but oh well.”  I couldn’t think of what to say so I simply replied, “I love you.”  Hopefully those words helped in some way.

Someone walked into our home this weekend who I hadn’t seen in a long time – and it was comforting on some level.  I finally got to give him a hug that was two months overdue.  One of Cody’s best friends happens to be a good friend of my daughter.   There appeared to be some disconnection between Annie and this friend over the last couple months.  At one point I was worried the friendship wouldn’t  survive the loss of Cody – and the emotions that followed.  It did though and seems stronger now.

Secretly this was something I was hoping for – this friend is a great person.  I am not naive and know a girl can’t tell her mom everything she can tell her friends.  Many of my daughter’s friends did not share the same connection to Cody.  I think some of them just hope Annie magically gets over it.  Having someone to share and confide in who is also experiencing the loss is invaluable for her.  I look at it as “friend therapy.”  Some help that myself or a grief counselor cannot provide – and I appreciate the help.

The past two months have been a journey – a journey that still continues.  It’s been filled with ups and downs, good times, bad times, set backs, crazy emotions and A LOT of make up school work.  Annie and I are both learning as we go.  My daughter is still hurting, but smiling.  She is still sad, but sharing – even though not all of it with me.  She is moving forward even though I think part of her wants to go back in time.  Most importantly, she is healing and taking steps back.   And she has a great friend who understands to walk the road back with her.

To Annie, Jordy, Anthony, G-Ma Joan – or anyone marking this date – you are in my thoughts.

Comments

  1. Tracie Smith says

    As always Danna, thanks for sharing. We have seen the many emotions that Jordyn has experienced during these last two months and are learning as we go as well. Sometimes it seems like one step forward, two steps back, but that is to be expected. I know her loss is great and deep. She misses Cody fiercely. Love, encouragement and an ear to hear whenever she wants to share seems to be working.

    Thanks again.

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