Okay, I did it. I cracked. I am officially a crack in the pavement on my daughter’s road back to a new normal. My daughter is smart. I don’t feel we expect too much from her. We expect what we know she is capable of doing. I know the past month has been devastating for her. I love her and want her to grieve and heal. Part of the reality of healing is well, life. Life going on. A wise and strong lady said to me the other day that the most difficult part is living without and just missing the person you lost.
With those profound words in mind I am choosing to help my daughter focus on life. Find some balance between living, grieving,
sadness, happiness. Some balance that allows her to keep moving forward. That balance starts with homework. Homework is real life when you’re a teenager. Maybe that’s why she’s avoiding completely catching up. Maybe that’s the part I am missing. Moving on and acknowledging life does go on feels like a slap in the face to her?
So I took the phone… the teenage lifeline. Not permanently. Just everyday until homework is done. I still sleep on the couch while she is downstairs late at night finishing homework she put off all day. I still make sure she gets up each day and drop her at the front door of school. I still ache for her and want her to express her grief. I just want her to realize living isn’t diminishing her friend’s memory.
