Proper Poop Etiquette | Types of Pet Poop People, a Satire Years in the Making

North Bend resident resident and owner and pet trainer of Miss Lola’s Academy for Wayward Dogs, Melissa Grant, is re-visiting a previous, entertaining article about the often discussed “poop etiquette”  in the Snoqualmie Valley – with some additional focus on our local (and popular) parks and trails.

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The original article was published two years ago, but after talking to Christopher Holland, Facility Coordinator for the dog poopCedar River Watershed Education Center, I decided it deserved another look.

I asked him about Rattlesnake Lake and the Ledge trail and asked how people are doing when it comes to disposing their dogs waste properly. This is what he had to say.

“As local valley residents know, Rattlesnake Lake and the Ledge trail have become very popular. With increased usage we are seeing more garbage. All garbage is a problem, but one area of special concern is dog waste. We have observed and had visitor complaints about people leaving full dog waste bags on the trails. These bags will not decay and we depend on our visitors to pack it in and pack it out. Dog waste that’s not scooped, or leaks from an abandoned bag is especially concerning. Not only is this unpleasant, it gets into the lake where people swim, fish, and play. The last time the lake was signed as unsafe was 2001. The cause was fecal coliform that we believe came from dog waste. More people, more poop and potential low lake levels this summer could create a huge problem.”

This ‘poop’ issue could potentially become such a problem that it could interfere with the usage of a much loved Valley summer hot spot. Please take a minute to reread this article and always remember to take those bags with you when out enjoying our beautiful area.

I started my own dog training business in 2003. In order to supplement my income while building my business, I took on any and all ways of making money. I was a magazine merchandiser, a sunglasses merchandiser, a hallmark card merchandiser and lastly, a dog walker.  I’ve walked them all, large and small, from a Yorkie to a Newfoundland.

I ALWAYS pick up the poop of my canine charges. Dog poop can host harmful bacteria or parasites that could be passed on to other dogs or children. Dog poop can take an entire year to break down, get into ground water that can pollute streams and rivers and lastly, in most places, it’s illegal not to “scoop the poop.” In spite of this, I’ve seen a lot of avoidance when it comes to poop picking duties.

Types of Pet Poop People

The Ignorer

First one that comes to mind is the Ignorer.  This the owner who stands there on the corner, gabbing on their cell phone, acting like they don’t notice their dog leaving a huge pile in their neighbor’s yard. We see you and know what you’re up to. You aren’t fooling us. I usually have poop bags in every pocket of every piece of clothing I own – and have been known to walk up and say  “Whoops!” and hand them a bag.

The Prolific Pooper

Next is the Prolific Pooper.  This is the dog whose owner is on a tight budget so he gets fed brightly colored grocery store brand dog food. Pssst. Pro tip. That green kibble isn’t peas and the orange stuff isn’t carrots. It’s full of fillers that will make your dog poop 6-8 times a day. Who has that many bags? Even on a tight budget, the premium food is going to be a better deal, with more protein and less filler, it means fewer poops. Think of all the money you’ll save on bags alone.

The Hider

One of my personal favorites is the Hider. This owner sees the poop happen and tries to hide the evidence in the foliage. “Hey you! It’s still there potentially harming someone. Lean your lazy self over and pick up after your dog.” I’ve been known to run a bag over to this type, too. Shame usually works wonders on this one.

The Pick it Up & Leave It

Have you ever walked through your neighborhood and noticed brightly colored bags littering the sidewalks?  These are left by the suburban legend known as the Pick it up and leave it owner. Having walked several very large dogs in my time, I know carrying a five-pound bag of smelly poop isn’t fun. I have found a spot on the walking trail and left it for the walk back.  But please, do go back and get it. Just because it’s in a bag doesn’t mean the job is done. It needs to find its way to trash receptacle.

The Panicked Pretender

Lastly, this avoider owner deserves an Oscar.  It’s the Panicked Pretender. This pet parent walks along whistling, looking joyful to be out and about with their favorite fuzzy friend, and then….PANIC!! Fido poops and Momma goes through an exaggerated pantomime of pocket-patting and grimacing (trying to find a bag) before sheepishly sauntering away from the evidence. People, get yourself a bag container that clips to your leash and clean up.  It is our responsibility as dog owners to keep the sidewalks clear for walking.

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