Wow! Who knew we were brimming with good advice here in the Snoqualmie Valley? Since our contest started on September 4th, we received 33 submissions!
I’m so glad. I was a little worried I’d throw a contest, and no one would show up. Then again, if you have good prizes, they will come. And boy, do we have good prizes.
In the Best Advice Category:
- First Place- Carnation Farms: A pair of tickets to a Farm Dinner of choice in 2025.
- Second Place- Treehouse Point: A one-night stay at this iconic Valley destination.
- Third Place- Outshined Photography: A complimentary 30-minute couple’s photo session in Snoqualmie Valley.
Next, for Worst Marriage Advice, we have:
- First Place- Salish Lodge & Spa: Dinner for two in the Dining Room, Attic or in-room Dining.
- Second Place- South Fork North Bend: A pair of tickets to their fabulous Supper Club.
- Third Place- Cascara Concierge: Four hours of organizational services to help start your new combined household right!
And lastly, for Weirdest Marriage Advice, we have:
- First Place- Rustic Unicorn Bartending Co.: One of two fabulous prizes 2 hours of bartending or a Cocktail/Mocktail Class
- Second Place- Wm Grassie Wine Estates: A Private Winemakers Tasting Experience for 8-10 guests.
- Third Place- Snoqualmie Inn: Complimentary 1-night stay in a King or Double Queen Studio Suite.
But enough with the details, let’s get to our finalists and their best, worst and weirdest advice. Don’t forget to read how to vote at the end of the story.
[*Note: Names and pictures are being omitted until the winners are announced]
Marriage Advice Finalists
Best
1. We are retired marriage counselors. We found a great teacher, Stan Tatkin, who told us, “Every wedding ceremony should have as part of the vows, ‘I take you for my pain in the butt.'” We agree. Nobody is always easy to live with, not even you. So, keep working to understand, forgive, and be kind to your pain in the butt.
2. My best advice after being married for almost 25 years is that you have to make whatever works for your relationship regardless of what’s traditionally thought is normal.
Don’t try to force traditional roles on each other, for example, just because society dictates that a woman should be the one tailoring clothes it doesn’t mean a husband who enjoys sewing can’t do them.
Don’t sleep in the same room if you have completely different circadian rhythms and you can’t have a restful night because of your partner, who btw snores too.
Be honest but be respectful. Find something that both of you love to do and do it together but don’t feel like you have to do everything together.
Do little things for the other that make them feel special. My example for that is how my husband always brings up my nighttime medicine when I am out and because he knows I hate touching the cotton they put in the pill bottles he always takes it out for me, so I don’t have to deal with the ‘ick’.
It’s not always flowers and fancy dinners. It’s the fact that you show you listen and notice little things about each other.
Lastly, talk, talk, talk. I’ve seen many marriages fall apart because of lack of communication. We are not mind readers so if something is on your mind, bring it up. It’s so much better to talk about issues than to deal with fallout because we keep things bottled up.
3. My husband and I will be married for 20 years in February 2025. The best marriage advice I can give is no matter the situation, argument, fight, misunderstanding when you go to bed at night, still say I LOVE you. There is plenty of time to resolve but going to bed knowing you have told each other you LOVE them gives some peace of mind to be restful and to be able to work things out the next day. Life is short and not promised and the simple words of I LOVE you, will and can go a long way in the heart and soul and mind.
4. Marriage advice? I’ve been married 47 years, so there are probably a few things I could say. Marriage is work. We’ve all heard that. But what makes it a little more work, is that all marriages are different, different personalities, different combinations of personalities, different workloads and finances, kids/no kids. There’s no one piece of advice that is going to be that magical thing that ensures that your marriage will last. But there is one thing that helps, I mean, really helps. Gratitude. Be grateful. Oh, yeah, I know that’s hard sometimes. A wisp of a posting on social media with pictures of a friend and their spouse wine tasting in the countryside of Sonoma, and you’re feeling like your marriage might be off-track. But marriage is about living your lives together. You know, your lives with jobs, and housework, and carpooling, and car repairs. It’s how you make that life better. Appreciating what you have, and what your spouse does in that life will get you through a lot. Say thank you for the mundane things your spouse does. The car rental that she just booked, or the dishwasher that he just emptied, even if it’s your spouse’s job to empty the dishwasher every single night. Did they just talk to the insurance company about that bill? Yep, say thank you. Do I say thank you for every little thing my spouse does? Heck, no! But I do try to say something on a daily basis. Saying thank you is about seeing your spouse and letting them know you see what they do for you and your family. But just as importantly, it helps you to notice and appreciate all that you truly have in your marriage and with your spouse. And, honestly, it is so easy to do.
5. I have 6 pieces of great advice:
- Pick your battles. Only debate the issues you feel passionate about. Let the little things go. This is part of compromise. Don’t hold grudges.
- Good communication is necessary.
- On things you disagree about, each person assigns the issue a number value that reflects how important the problem at hand is. This allows you to proceed accordingly.
- Have individual bank accounts. I’ve been married twice, and it is/was EXTREMELY rare to have a disagreement about money.
- Don’t “keep score”. I’ve heard of couples who do this in all sorts of circumstances, and it never ends well. It results in resentment.
- Marry someone who makes you laugh. Marry someone who you can keep a good conversation with. When you’re old and not able to do much physically, this is important to keep your bond strong.
Worst
1. The worst advice I’ve gotten is that I shouldn’t talk about politics with my husband, and I shall vote for whom he is voting for. What?! Of course, we should talk about politics! Preferably before marriage because a differing opinion on huge matters can put a strain even on the happiest marriage. And the second part of advice, well, that’s just straight-up foolishness.
2. The worst pieces of marriage advice I’ve heard:
- Stay together no matter what/stay together for the kids: This is detrimental to a person’s overall quality of life and mental health if they’re in a marriage to the wrong person.
- Play hard to get. Just be honest about your feelings!
- Having Kids will make your marriage stronger.
3. Worst marriage advice I was given (which I ignored) was “To always obey your husband.” A marriage is a wonderful partnership, NOT a dictatorship.
4. Worst marriage advice I ever got: Some Might believe this is good advice, but on the contrary, at my wedding shower, one of my mother’s friends told me this would be the most important advice I ever received for marriage. Her advice was simple, “Love your husband first.” She went on to say, love him before your children, love him before yourself, and if you do that, you will live a long, happy life married to your happy husband. She is probably right about one thing. You would be married to a happy husband.
5. “Have children right away.” When we were first married everyone advised us to start having babies. We ignored that and waited 9 years before we had kids, and it worked out fantastically.
Weirdest
1. The weirdest one I’ve gotten was that I should never let my husband see me without makeup. The person told me that I should wake up earlier than him, put on makeup, brush my teeth and go back to bed so he can wake up to a ‘put together’ wife. I should also not wear yoga pants or any lounge-like clothes at home because this will make him look for love elsewhere. Needless to say, I disregarded this advice, and I’ve enjoyed my makeup-free nights and loungewear days happily with my husband of 24 years.
2. Marry someone who makes you pee your pants laughing at least once a year. Ideally, someone who also finds it charming that you pee your pants laughing.
3. The weirdest advice I ever received was, “Always do your husband’s laundry.” Um, what? The guy who gave that advice long ago is still single (not shocking).
4. When you first met, you called each other by your first name. When he said your name, it made you tingle; when she said your name, it made you smile. The sound of her voice saying your name is exciting and special, so my advice:
Call each other by your first names as much as possible
- Susie, pass me the salt, please
- Michael, would you like another cup of coffee
- Terry, this dinner is delicious
- Alan what do you think about those mariners
- Greg, I love you
- Martha I love you
Use your first names to begin every conversation
5. The Secret Weapon for In-Law Diplomacy: The Robot Vacuum
Being newly married is an exciting time, but it also introduces a new set of dynamics – especially with your in-laws. While spending time with your spouse’s family is a blessing, it can sometimes be overwhelming. For me, visits from my out-of-state in-laws often mean my chatty father-in-law takes over the kitchen.
Every time he visits, he claims the kitchen as his own, engaging anyone who passes through in long, meandering conversations. Don’t get me wrong – I love talking to my father-in-law, but when I’m working from home, this means my breaks for water or snacks inevitably turn into lengthy chats. To reclaim my kitchen and maintain some peace, I’ve enlisted an unexpected ally: my robot vacuum.
Here’s how you can use your robot vacuum as a secret weapon in your own kitchen diplomacy:
Step 1: Stealth Mode Activation
Start by quietly activating your robot vacuum while your father-in-law makes himself at home in the kitchen. Use your app to schedule its start during his usual kitchen hangout times – he won’t even see you touch your phone! The gentle hum and steady movement of the vacuum will likely encourage him to shift around. If he decides to relocate, congratulations! You’ve reclaimed your kitchen and even managed to clean the floors. If he remains undeterred, don’t worry – we have escalation tactics ready.
Step 2: Precision Targeting
For the more determined guest, your robot may need a little extra persuasion. Gently guide the vacuum closer to his chair with some subtle nudging. Stand behind your kitchen island to keep your movements hidden and use your foot to guide the vacuum’s path. This way, you can efficiently direct it to invade his personal space without raising suspicion.
Pro tip: The night before, scatter some crumbs or stray chips near his favorite spot at the table. The vacuum will spend extra time sweeping the area, amplifying the discomfort and encouraging him to find a more comfortable spot.
Step 3: Turbo Mode
Should your father-in-law resist these subtle hints, it’s time for the nuclear option: deep clean mode. When all else fails, unleash the full power of your vacuum. The roar of the suction will drown out any conversation, making the kitchen a less appealing place to linger.
Bonus: The Plausible Deniability Clause
The beauty of this operation lies in its innocence. You’re simply a conscientious homeowner ensuring that your house remains clean and comfortable for your guests. “It’s just doing its job,” you can say about your vacuum with an apologetic smile.
Your Robot Has Successfully Completed a Job!
There you have it! The aim isn’t to make your in-laws feel unwelcome but to create a space where everyone can enjoy their time together without feeling overwhelmed. With a touch of strategic timing and a few sneaky vacuum tactics, you can reclaim your kitchen and maintain harmony during your next family visit – one robot deployment at a time.
Voting Rules
- Voting lasts from September 18th until 10 pm September 21st.
- Voting will be by commenting on this article or Living Snoqualmie’s Facebook page with your name and your top THREE choices.
- Likes will not be counted as votes.
- You may comment as much as you’d like, but please, when you vote, only write your name and your top three choices in each category.
- Winners will be announced in a third article on September 23rd
[Featured Image by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash]
